This is the place where you can personalize your profile!
By moving, adding and personalizing widgets.
You can drag and drop to rearrange.
You can edit widgets to customize them.
The bottom has widgets you can add!
Some widgets you can only access when you get Core Membership.
Some widgets have options that are only available when you get Core Membership.
We've split the page into zones!
Certain widgets can only be added to certain zones.
"Why," you ask? Because we want profile pages to have freedom of customization, but also to have some consistency. This way, when anyone visits a deviant, they know they can always find the art in the top left, and personal info in the top right.
Don't forget, restraints can bring out the creativity in you!
Now go forth and astound us all with your devious profiles!
The moral of the story, kids, is if you want to blow something up do it yourself. Don't outsource.
The last potato
I had a dream. It was good.
Earth had lost all it's potatoes. No more potatoes can be grown. Climate change, pesticides, stupid people, and greed all forced potatoes into extinction.
The world was in chaos. People lived in despair. Society was going to implode!
At the last minute, before the last pillar crumbled and a new dark age began NASA made the discovery that changed human history.
There was an asteroid sized potato in orbit between Mars and Jupiter!
The potatroid was large enough to provide every person on Earth one full bag of potato chips. Humanity was saved!
There were a few hurdles to overcome, mainly the lack of astronauts. In the feverish carnage leading up to the discovery many scientists were murdered by hordes of trailer trash for not being smart enough to fix the potato chip dilemma.
A global lottery was held to determine who would go to space for the potatoroid.
Everyone was entered regardless of their willingness to participate.
Obviously I won and was anointed pilot because I was picked first. My copilot was a black European woman. I knew we were doomed.
First off, everyone knows in sci fi the non-white characters are more expendable. Second, and even more ominous, she wore a red shirt to orientation. Erryone knows red shirts die first. Erryone.
Because funds were short and all the smart people were dead training was a week long before we were launched into space.
The fun began when we arrived at our destination.
We lacked advanced tools. So Jackie, my copilot in the loosest sense of the word, had to manually collect potato with a large potato peeler. I was tasked with collecting the shavings in a cart/trolley and loading the cargo bay of our ship.
There was no gameplan so we were left to figure things out ourselves. Unfortunately Jackie focused on one spot too long, inadvertently creating a slope that she promptly fell down!
For reasons that made no sense in a zero gravity environment, Jackie rushed uncontrollably down the slope towards the edge of the potatoroid.
Instead of floating off into the void fell like a rock down and away from the potatoroid and disappeared. In fear, full of panic, she screamed "remember me!"
I was like "What? Who said that?!" Looking around bewildered.
In some mysterious revelation, accidental or divinely orchestrated, I realized the potatroid had it's own atmosphere and that I could stay there forever, so I did.
In the distance I could see Earth burn like a bonfire.
I wonder what happened to Jackie.
Lost? Ask a trucker for directions!
OMG! A military chopper landed on a highway to ask for directions!